Karma was served cold today as the Loch Ness Monster returned to Inverness for the first time after being cast out of the town city way back in 565AD.
Bouncer and local religious/fashion fanatic St. Columba barred Nessie from entering Inverness for “getting wide”, a serious crime in the Highland capital.
Nessie crossed the town city limits this afternoon with what seems like vengeance in mind. Eyewitnesses said they saw the displeased dinosaur sneak up behind Columba as the chic Christian berated the seagulls in the Ness and it’s said that Nessie “pure burst him out of nowhere, like”.
Nessie remains at large and a town citywide manhunt has begun. The mythical beast was last seen in the Tarry boasting about the crime and declaring Columba “a wee fanny”. Police have urged folk to contact them or the Fortean Times should they spot the creature.
Inverness Tourist Board 
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