The Highland Council has declared its new Cocaine Drop-off Zone in Hilton an unmitigated success with the scheme being used daily by locals and Scousers alike!
The idea came to local council worker Mickey The Grass whilst he was out innocently spotting dog dirts in a popular Hilton green space.
“I was just noting a particularly creamy Alsatian poop when I noticed that there was a regular stream of folk coming to meet this wee gadge in a puffer jacket on the corner. I remembered the gaffer at work was always looking for ideas to rinse the public purse for mental ideas and I thought “BINGO – I bet we could make some of that sweet grant cash out of these jakes!””
The council leapt in the idea and was soon rolling in cash whilst your local/Liverpudlian Hilton dealer was free to sling more ‘Snow off the Ben” than ever before.
When approcahed for comment, a dealer who wished to remain anonymous said:
“Calm down, calm down! It’s made no difference to me business like. Cops never paid much attention as it is, but its nice to finally be recognised as a legitimate businessman by the local authority.”
You can find the drop-off zone just off Esk Road flats – dead handy for Hilton Chippy and Cauldeen Primary School.
Inverness Tourist Board 
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